The Dark Pit Show!
by ShadowMewX
Summary: It didn't take a lot of persuasion for Dark Pit to get his own TV show. On each episode, he interviews people, starts battles, and more things alongside his cameraman...er, camera-angel Pit. Randomness and humor galore!
1. Setting Up- Part 1

**Hey, I'm Shadmé, the creator of this story and show. I noticed I'm not a very funny person (more like shy and serious) compared with these two angels. So I decided to start a show for Dark Pit- with Pit as the cameraman- so I could watch humor in action. Dark Pit doesn't know this, nor does he know that Pit's the cameraman. This is bound to amuse me greatly or be a train wreck. Anyway, here comes the star of the show!**

A black angel walked onto the dark stage. Glancing around suspiciously, he spotted a piece of paper on the table. He picked it up, his maroon eyes flitting over the important details of the contract.

Your own talk show...interview people...be yourself...whatever, he thought. Paying no attention to the smaller details, he signed his name, Dark Pit, at the bottom, giving him full liberty of the show. At that moment, his hyperactive twin, Pit, came rushing onto the stage with a camera.

"Hi, Pitto! Are you on this show too?"

"Ugh, don't call me that," Dark Pit groaned. "And what do you mean? I'm the star of this thing. What do you want?"

"Oh, fantastic! I'm the cameraman!" Pit chirped excitedly. "So that means we get to both be on the show! Ooh, do you have any episodes planned?"

Dark Pit collapsed onto a chair. "Great, you'll literally be following me around this entire time..."  
"Yeah! It'll be fun!" Pit exclaimed. "So what do you wanna do first?"

The dark angel, seeing no way out of the situation since he'd signed the contract, pulled a piece of paper and a pencil out of his pocket and started to write a script. "Let's see..." he muttered. "We'll need to bring in a few popular gods and goddesses on the show to draw attention, then we can move on from there. Who should we put on first?" He blankly stared out into the empty rows of seats.

"Lady Palutena! Everyone knows the goddess of light," Pit stated, making it sound completely obvious that she was the right choice.

"Whatever." The angel scribbled her name down, and another idea came to him for a future episode. As he got to work, Pit fooled around with his camera. In particular, he was fascinated with the zoom button.

Pit zoomed in on the pencil Dark Pit was using, then zoomed out, listening to the sound the camera made. Zoom in, zoom out, in, out...

"What is that annoying noise?" Dark Pit grumbled, looking up. "It sounds like a robot from Megaman."

The lighter angel decided not to admit it was him, and set the camera down. "Hey Pitto, should I go out and get decorations or something? The stage looks pretty bland."

"If I recall, you're a cameraman, not a stage designer," Dark Pit retorted, interrupted again from his planning.

"Oh come on, you're not gonna leave it like this, will you?" Pit gestured to the whole area, twirling in a small circle.

"I'll fix it. Later."

Pit trotted over to his twin and snatched his paper. Dashing away gleefully, he shouted, "Well since you don't have the script, guess we'll have to go out now!"

"Hey! That's important!" Dark Pit took a running leap of the stage and landed on one of the rows of chairs, preparing to chase Pit around the auditorium.

"C'mon! You've been working for a long time!"

"Five minutes is not a long time!" the dark angel growled. He jumped on the floor getting ready to cut Pit off, but the angel skidded and whipped around the other way. "Get back here!"

"Not until we go buy decorations, props and a mini refrigerator!" Pit replied. "You have the hearts for that?" Dark Pit barked. "Maybe! We'll never know until you stop chasing me!" Pit remarked.

Dark Pit slowed to a walk. "How in the Underworld do you still have that much energy?"

Pit held up a power, Tirelessness, in his hand. "Oh," Dark Pit sighed. "Fine. But where would you get the supplies?"

"The human world has something called a 'mall', where you buy things," Pit told him.

"Uh uh. No way. Not going there," Dark Pit said. "There's no way we can pass ourselves off as humans to go on a shopping trip."

"Hmm." Pit stopped running, his power wearing off. "Just hold your wings close to your back, and put your scarf over it or something."

"It's summertime, dolt. We can't wear heavy scarves in summer."


	2. Setting Up- Part 2

AN: Hi, everyone! Ok, hang on a sec, that sounded cheesy. *cough* Welcome back to the show! This time, I attempt to follow Dark Pit and Pit as they go into the human world to buy decorations for the stage. With this Transparency power that grants me invisibility, we can do this safely. What hilarity will ensue?

Dark Pit walked out of the theater wearing a black jacket that was totally out of character for him. Pit followed him, wearing an identical white one. Yet the jackets both covered their wings, so it didn't matter to them how they looked. "Let's see..." Pit mumbled to himself. "How do I film you as unobviously as possible?"  
"How about 'discretely'- unobviously isn't a word. And we're only going out to get supplies. I don't think that's show-worthy," his clone responded.

There is a long spiral staircase that few know of that can take one from the Overworld to Skyworld, or vice versa. The two angels started heading in that direction as they chatted. Okay, mostly Pit talked and Dark Pit tolerated him, but you get the idea.  
"I'm gonna be famous! I'm gonna be famous!" Pit chanted excitedly.  
"Uh, Kid Icarus: Uprising sold, like, a million copies on the first day," Dark Pit told him. "And you had two games before that AND you made cameos AND you were in SSBB AND you had three anime before Uprising's release. If you don't know what popular is already, than I don't know what. You even got your own action figure and cards."  
"I did?" Pit asked. "Can we go buy that figure of myself?"  
"Ugh. I don't know," the dark angel replied.

The two of them had made their way to the bottom of the staircase. Dark Pit thought he was going to explode from listening to Pit! No, he didn't care to know how awesomely Pit destroyed the Aurum with an Aether Ring, no, he didn't care how Pit thought milk chocolate was the best kind of chocolate...(okay, well, he liked dark chocolate. No surprise there.)  
"Look, an Exo Tank!" Pit exclaimed. "Wonder how it got here. I didn't think Lady Palutena could put heavenly rides on the Overworld."

Sighing, Dark Pit walked over to the vehicle and sat on it, ready to drive far, far away from Pit, but Pit jumped on behind him. "Whadda you know, it fits two angels!" he babbled.  
"Can you shut your mouth for one moment, Pit?!" Dark Pit cried in anger. "Getting to the store really shouldn't be this hard. In fact, I'm sort of contemplating on ditching you."

"Hey, what do I put my hands on to support me when we start moving?" the light angel continued, acting as if Dark Pit hadn't said anything. "Usually I hold on to the handlebars, but you have control of the Exo Tank now."  
Dark Pit banged his head on the side of the vehicle in frustration.

Somehow the two managed to get into town. Dark Pit carefully parked the Exo Tank beside a building and got off, Pit following him. They made their way to the marketplace and looked at some of the stalls.  
"Woah, look, Pitto! This one says it has the world's juiciest watermelon. We've gotta try it!"  
"How about no," Dark Pit responded. "Our goal here is to get some stupid things to decorate the stage with, and that's it."  
"There's a craft shop!"  
"Ok then, let's go there." The two disguised angels walked into the small store.  
"Here's the plan," whispered Dark Pit. "You grab some stuff, I'll grab some stuff. Then we pay for it and leave."  
"Okay!" chirped Pit. "But why are you so edgy?"

Dark Pit made a small gesture with his head towards a little girl. "That girl's looking at us funny."

Pit walked through an isle. He grabbed some white and gold streamers. "What a perfect color!" he exclaimed aloud. "But blue's also nice since it's the color of the sky." He grabbed a can of sky-blue paint. As he turned, he noticed a bag of flat, colorful things. Since he couldn't read the label, he grabbed them anyway. "They're sorta pretty," he thought. "Maybe a little color is what Pitto needs."

Back with Dark Pit...  
"Hmm. What's something that looks simple but not dorky? Not like Pit of course. He's simple AND dorky," Dark Pit snickered to himself as he grabbed some black wallpaper. "I can't believe I'm doing this though. Wait, am I talking to myself?" Dark Pit shook his head. "I probably get that from Pit." He headed by the carpet aisle. "Rugs might be a good idea," he thought. "I hope green doesn't clash with black though."

A little while later, the angels met up. "Look what I've got!" Pit said cheerfully. All of the things he'd picked out were either white or light in color, a big contrast to the darker array of things Dark Pit picked out. Dark Pit decided to ignore that problem for now."Ok. Let's move out."  
"That's my line, Pitto!"

So the two angels wasted a lot of time carrying all of their stuff up to Skyworld. Pit considered asking Lady Palutena to grant them the Power of Flight so it'd go faster, but Dark Pit wanted nothing to do with the goddess until showtime.

They even tried to decorate the stage to the best of their ability. Most of the time, they had no idea what they were doing, probably because they had bought the decorations in the Overworld and had little to no experience with human things. The two angels popped open the bag of "colorful things" Pit had found, and they turned out to be balloons. Dark Pit really didn't want them to bounce around the stage while they were performing (he knew for a fact Pit would be distracted), but Pit managed to convince him to inflate a few.

Pit also fell asleep while Dark Pit was painting the floor, so the doppelgänger painted around him. When Pit awoke to get back to work, there was a Pit-shaped area on the floor that needed paint. "Hey, look, there really is a Pit-stain on the floor!" Dark Pit sneered. Even though mistakes were made and they weren't professional decorators, the two angels were soon ready for the first show.


	3. Episode 1- A deLIGHTful Interview

AN: Shadmé: Hahaha puns. I think I'm as good as Pit at them. Anyhow, this is the two angel's first show!

"Hey everyone, and welcome to the show," Dark Pit announced. "I am your host, Dark Pit, and this is a show where I interview people, review things, answer questions, and others. First up on the show: we will interview the goddess of light Palutena!"

A green-haired woman in a simple white dress with gold trimming walked on the stage. The few audience members in the seats cheered.

"Greetings, everyone!" she called. Subtlety she turned around and whispered to the angels, "So this is what you were up to." The camera bobbed a little as Pit nodded. Dark Pit walked over to a chair and sat down, gesturing for the goddess to sit across from him. "For those of you who don't know, Lady Palutena is the goddess of light. Duh, I just said that. She's been Pit's guide throughout his many adventures. Now, to the questioning," Dark Pit said. He turned to look at Palutena. "So, what's your life like as the goddess of light? Busy?"

"Mmhmm," she murmured aloud. "Training the centurions, protecting the people, and taking care of Pit as well as other missions and errands is basically my life!" Dark Pit smirked at Pit, who was blushing since Palutena had mentioned his name.

"I see. How often are you involved in the human's life? Some say you're barely there."

"Well, I don't like to step in on their affairs unless it gets really nasty. I think it's best for them to figure life out for themselves."

"'Step in on their affairs?'" questioned the dark angel. "In my personal opinion, I don't see any work done from you for the humans. Do tell."

Lady Palutena narrowed her eyes. "Who's the goddess of light here?" she asked. "I help their crops grow, grant them good health-"

"Okay, okay," Dark Pit cut her off, not wanting to start an argument on the first show. "Do you and Pit share a love for hot springs?"

Palutena smiled. "Indeed."

"Where did you get the idea for Exo Tanks?" Dark Pit asked.

"Well, the general idea for them has been around. But having them for Pit in his first adventures would simply create unbalanced gameplay. Same deal with Cherubots and Aether Rings."

"Hmm, okay. Here's a more personal question. On the internet, some people think that you and Pit are in love or something. What's your real relationship with him?"

The goddess turned away from Dark Pit. "That is a very...bold question, Pitto. But I'll answer anyway. I know Pit and I care for each other, but it's more of a...mother and son relationship." "Whatever," Dark Pit mumbled. "What do you think of the pairing Pit and Viridi that's been flying around the internet?"

Outraged cries came from both Pit and Palutena. "No way!" Pit was yelling. "I'm not in love with that sassy, know-it-all-"

"I CAN HEAR YOU!" shrieked a female voice from the audience. A very young-looking girl with long golden hair and wearing a pink, red and purple dress stood up. "The NERVE of all of you! Especially Dark Pit for bringing that up!"

The four started arguing with each other, and then a rubber duck was thrown from behind the curtain and hit Dark Pit in the head. He whipped around. "Who's there?" The curtain rustled as the person fled, and Dark Pit ran across the stage to get behind the curtain. Pit, at this point, was still engaged with Viridi and Palutena, so his twin was on his own.

Behind the curtain, black feathers were left behind as the two chased each other. The other figure jumped over various props and made their way to the rafters. Dark Pit glared back, the identity of the person suddenly known.

"Shadmé! What are you DOING?"

"Making sure your show doesn't get discontinued!" Her brown eyes gleamed.

"By throwing a rubber duck at me? Are you insane?!"

"Look, humor is what people enjoy reading or watching. If a rubber duck makes them laugh, then a rubber duck it is." For good measure, she dropped a candy cane on him. "Besides, Christmas is coming up. You should do a Christmas episode."

Dark Pit angrily threw the treat at her face. Shadmé ducked, and it hit the wall and shattered behind her. "Angels don't celebrate Christmas-"

"Okay, okay. Maybe a winter episode. There are some humans that don't celebrate Christmas either."

"Why are you acting as the boss? I own this show!" Dark Pit growled.

Shadmé held up the contract. "Uh, I bought this show for you. So technically I am. And it was specified in the contract, which you obviously didn't read."

Dark Pit rolled his eyes. "This is called the Dark Pit show for a reason. And I have to go see if the others are still fighting." He turned around and walked back onto the stage. "Sorry for the technical difficulty, everyone. Thanks for watching. Hopefully the show won't get messed up next time." He cast a red-eyed glare towards Viridi.

AN: Shadmé: Well, that didn't go as planned.  
Dark Pit: I'll say. Mostly your fault.  
Shadmé: Wait, what? Where did you come from?  
Dark Pit: *points at stage* So you're secretly uploading the episodes to the internet?  
Shadmé: Yep, pretty much. So, ah, see you next episode! *uploads*


	4. Episode 2- Winter Fun

Dark Pit walked on the stage. "Today's the day, everyone. Shadmé wants a winter happy holiday episode, and here it is."

"Ooh!" Pit exclaimed gleefully from behind the camera. "Will there be snow? Or sleds? How about hot chocolate and cookies and-"

"That's enough," Dark Pit interjected sharply. "Although snow is a thought. Shadmé! The secret weapon!"

She walked out on the stage with a really hi-tech machine. "Dunno how you turn it on, but I know it transforms some of the moisture in the air into ice crystals and snow."

"Wait...you know how it works but not how you turn it on?" Pit repeated. "Wow."

"I think this turns it on, genius," Dark Pit said. He pressed a button that read ON, and immediately snow came out of the machine. "This should probably be used alongside the sprinkler system," Shadmé mused. She went behind the curtains and seconds later, water and snow were everywhere. The audience shrieked in surprise and happiness. "Okay, okay!" Dark Pit clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. "Nothing's off-limits. Snowball fights, snow angels, yadda yadda. Just don't mess up our equipment." The crowd cheered, and a brave few started packing together snowballs. As soon as his announcement was made, Dark Pit made a snowball and without looking threw it at Pit. "Hey!" The angel's voice was heard. He tried to wipe off the camera. "You said no hitting the equipment!"

"That doesn't mean the people holding the equipment are off-limits." Another snowball hit Pit. "Oh, you'll pay for that!" he exclaimed. "Shadmé, hold the camera." She reluctantly walked over and took it from him. After looking at the people in the audience, only a few pegging each other with the fluffy white stuff, she turned to the other angels. They were building forts on the stage. Well, they were pretty much walls, but you know. Pit was packing together some snowballs, and Dark Pit was adding extra fortifications to his wall. Slowly, Shadmé, although not visible on camera, bent over and made a snowball. When Dark Pit's back was facing her, she threw the snowball at the dark angel, hoping to get a laugh or two.

Thwock. It hit the back of his neck.

Slowly, he turned around. Shadmé gulped, noticing how red his face was getting. "Well, Shadmé. Give me one good reason not to absolutely destroy you right now."  
"Uhh..." Shadmé said nervously, her idea of humor obviously not shared by the angel. "I don't think it's possible to kill someone with snow?"

Pit had turned to watch the exchange of words. Almost cheekily, he packed together a snowball and threw it at his doppelgänger. It went a little low, and exploded into crumbs by the dark angel's feet. Dark Pit's fingers twitched, as if he wanted to strangle the life out of anyone right at this moment. Almost hesitantly, Shadmé made a snowball and threw it at Pit. He ducked and it hit the stage curtain. "It's on!" The two angels shouted, and Shadmé ran away in a panic (camera secured in her arms this time) as a multitude of snowballs thrown by the angels hit her in the back. Some of the curious audience members who were watching them started throwing snowballs, and soon an all-out war between every person in the audience and the stage ensued.

Shadmé hastily threw the camera on a chair to join the fun. She threw a snowball at a Centurion who wasn't paying attention. After briefly looking around, he threw a snowball at some other people. Shadmé noticed the show host getting pelted so much that his dark tunic was becoming as white as Pit's from the snow. She threw snowballs at a couple other people, and a woman returned her fire. Oops.

"Sorry, Lady Palutena!" Shadmé called as she tried to escape the goddess' snowballs. Running back on the stage, she slid alongside Pit, who was ducking behind the remains of his fortress. "For the angel hero, you're sure taking up a cowardly position," she teased. He rolled his eyes playfully. "I'm not being a coward! I'm waiting for the moment to strike."

"Well, whatever," Shadmé murmured. "I'm gonna try to make a snow angel."

"Oh! A snow angel? I'm good at those!" Pit flopped into the snow. "The best part is, all I do is sit here. I don't have to flop my arms around or anything 'cause I already have wings!"

Shadmé rolled a ball of snow along the ground. "That's not what I meant. I was going to make a snowman and add wings to it."

"Oh." Pit got up and shook the snow out of his hair.

Meanwhile, with Dark Pit...

"Hmm. Where did Shadmé go?" He scratched his head. "And why did they leave the camera on that seat? Our ratings are gonna go down if the footage looks terrible." He walked down the stairs and grabbed the camera. As he panned over the stage, he spotted the others making a snowman. "Bored of snowball fights already? Whatever." From a distance he watched as Shadmé's snowball got bigger. Pit beside her was rolling the middle section. With a smirk he walked over to them. "You guys take too long. I'll show you how to make a head for that thing, Dark Pit style." Shadmé looked up. "Oh, that'd be great!" Dark Pit carefully put the camera down on his chair and rolled the head. Since his part was the smallest, he indeed did finish first. Instead of waiting for the others to finish, he went offstage to get objects for the snow person's facial features.

When he returned, the snowman was stacked. Shadmé and Pit were forming wings on the back of it. The dark angel walked to its front and stuck in rocks for eyes and a mouth because screw coal. He used a stick for a nose and part of the laurel crown. Dark Pit also had some leaves, which were what the rest of the crown was made of. He stepped back and admired his work. The others were still brushing details on the wings. "Well, that's pretty much the end of the Dark Pit Show for today," he said. "Enjoy winter break."

"Advice from the angel!" Pit shouted before Dark Pit turned the camera off. "Don't eat yellow snow!"


	5. Episode 3- New Year's Special

AN: Thanks for the reviews! Here's another episode we put together for the New Year! Can you believe the next episode will be next year? Anyhow, on with the show!

The camera zoomed in on the dark show host. In response, the crowd cheered as the Dark Pit show began. "So, Christmas is over," Dark Pit commented. "And I didn't even get my Christmas cookies!" Pit grumbled. Dark Pit dismissed his comment with a wave of his hand. "You might still have your chance. In a couple hours it will be the new year. We will all be celebrating."

Pit perked up, his blue eyes shining. "Oh yes! Cookies! Hey Pitto, I learned a new word!"

"Cookies?" he asked, confused.

"No, silly! Hors d'oeuvres! It's like an appetizer!"

Dark Pit seriously doubted that it was a word. "And how do you spell it?"

"Uh, o-r-d-u-r-r-e-s."

"I don't believe you." Ignoring Pit's cry of protest, he turned back to the audience. "So I looked it up, and New Years is apparently a time for us to make resolutions for the new year. I want to hear what your resolutions are."

"What's yours?" Pit asked.

"Mine is to kick your sorry butt," he sneered. Pit shrugged. "Then mine is to sample every type of food in the world."

"Figures."

"And to call you Pitto as many times as possible."

Dark Pit scooped up a snowball from some of the remaining snow from last episode and threw it at Pit. "Who else has a New Years resolution they'd like to share?"

Shadmé poked her head out from behind the curtain. "I just posted '#whatsyournewyearsresolution' on your feed. Let's see if you get any responses."

Dark Pit tumbled to the ground in pain, groaning loudly. "What in the Underworld is your problem?" she asked, not really caring.

"Hash...tags..." he whispered. "For the love of Palutena..." Shadmé retreated behind the curtain again. "Cool! Wait, what's a hashtag?" Pit said innocently.

"Pit, no! They must be hidden from your innocent eyes!" Palutena cried from the crowd. "Hi Lady Palutena! I'm on TV!" Pit called back, forgetting about hashtags immediately. He also didn't realize that he was filming TV and not actually on it, but oh well.

"Okay, I fixed it. And we also got some responses." Shadmé announced as she returned. Dark Pit quickly stood up and acted as if nothing had happened. "Yeah, who replied?"

"SuperCuteViridi (I'm not kidding- that's her username) said that her resolution is to pretty much try to get the humans to go green. If they don't, she'll kill them."

"Lovely," Dark Pit remarked sarcastically. "Who else?"

"Flamehero10, probably Pyrrhon, said that his resolution is to try and stop talking in third person."

"Thank the heavens!" blurted Pit. "That annoyed me more that anything that he ever did! Well, besides him turning evil."

"And Pandora...well, I'm not gonna say her username 'cause it's kinda insulting, but anyway, she said she wanted to murder you on this show one day."

"So first she stalks me in my wings, and then she stalks my show. Nice," Dark Pit laughed. "Like I'm afraid of her. In fact, I'll have her on an episode to prove it. At this rate, she'll be here tomorrow."

"That's Dark Pit for you. He laughs in the face of danger," Shadmé muttered darkly.

"Ok, so..." Dark Pit cleared his throat awkwardly. "How else do we celebrate?"

Shadmé perked up again. "New Year's Eve is also a time of reflection. Think about what you've done this past year and what you'll do this year."

"Ooh, ooh! Me first!"

"Yes, Pit, go ahead," Shadmé sighed.  
"Okay, so I saved the world."

"'Kay. So did I. So did Pitto."

"Don't call me that!"

"Aaand..." Pit tried to think of something unique. "I ate food."

"So did I. So did Dark Pit."

"You're terrible at this." Dark Pit rolled his eyes. "How about something dramatic like when you drove the Exo Tank in a loop-de-loop singing a victory song?"

"Or how about the time when you tried to activate the Power of Flight by yourself and ended up falling down a flight of stairs?" Shadmé added, chuckling.

Pit growled. "Oh, okay! Well, I remember a certain someone testing out the weight of a cannon and falling off a balcony!"

Shadmé rolled her eyes. "And you were testing out the speed of claws, accidentally running into a wall!"

"That's so Pit," his doppelgänger smirked.

"We're not done with you yet!" Shadmé flashed back. "You're the one with a stupid nickname!"

"I didn't gain that this year though. I thought you said to reflect on things that happened this year."

"Oh, fine." Shadmé sighed, losing interest. "What now?"

"Uh..." Dark Pit turned around and something caught his eye. "We have balloons!"  
The crowd murmured in excitement, but Shadmé went behind the curtain to look for something. Dark Pit grabbed a balloon sitting on the ground and threw in into the audience. "I knew these would come in handy after having leftovers from setting up," he muttered. Dark Pit grabbed another and threw it at his lighter twin.

Unlike the other, which was slowly drifting towards the audience, this one traveled quickly and exploded into water upon contact with Pit. He squeaked and dropped the camera in surprise.

"Hmm," Dark Pit mused. "I suppose snow works just as well as water in water balloons."

"Why, you!" Pit sputtered. "Pitto!"

Upon hearing his nickname, the dark angel reached down, grabbed another snow balloon and threw it at Pit. While the angel was distracted, Dark Pit threw the rest of the balloons, not filled with water, into the crowd. Most of them lunged at the balloons to try and get them. Probably so they could brag to their friends that they got a rare souvenir.

"Well, all the snow balloons I had are now gone," Dark Pit told Pit. "I was forced to use them early. Oh well."

"Hey, I found more decorations!" Shadmé shouted from behind the scene. Pit finally remembered to pick up the camera, and as he did, something white flew through the air, getting longer as it unrolled. "Oh, no!" Dark Pit shouted angrily. "You were supposed to throw out the streamers!"

"I did!" she called back.

"No! You threw toilet paper! HOW did you get the two confused?!" The toilet paper bounced on the ground and kept rolling. The doppelgänger facepalmed. "Well, that's definitely something everyone will remember until the next episode!" Pit chirped, trying to see the bright side of the situation.

AN: Well, see you guys next year! Oh, and if you have any suggestions for the show, do tell in a review or something! We at Dark Pit HQ are always open to suggestions!


	6. Episode 4- Pitto

**Hey guys, sorry it's been a while. We've been working on the show, but we're having trouble deciding what to do for future episodes. AKA writer's block. But I know how to make it up to you! Psst, Pit!**

**Pit: Hmm? Oh, hi Shadmé!**

**I dare you to get the audience to call Dark Pit "Pitto" as much as possible today!**

Dark Pit was pacing in a circle behind the curtain. "Dang it, where is Pit?" he grumbled. "The show can't start without him."

"Whew, sorry I'm late!" Pit gasped, running in with his camera. "Ready to start, Pitto?"

"Don't call me that," Dark Pit replied. The camera started rolling, and he walked onto the stage, the audience slightly more numerous than before. "Welcome to the show. Dark Pit he-"

"Pitto!"

The dark angel scanned the audience for the person that had used that nickname. Shrugging it off, he tried to continue his introduction. "Uh, I'm Dark Pit, and I'll be your host-"

"Pitto!"

Dark Pit turned to face Pit. "What's going on?" he hissed through gritted teeth.

"I dunno, Pitto!" Pit whispered back at his twin. Dark Pit narrowed his eyes at Pit, who was trying not to laugh.

"Pitto!"

"Pitto!"

"Pittooo..."

"Stop calling me that!" he yelled at the audience. There was a brief silence, and then he heard someone's voice again. "Pit-tooo-"

"Arrgh!" Dark Pit growled. "You guys are really driving me nuts, and I need to beat the crap out of something." He stormed off the stage and behind the curtain. There was an uneasy silence, and Pit didn't know what to film for the moment. Luckily, Dark Pit returned quickly, dragging Shadmé in one hand and two bows in the other.

"Dark Pit, ahem, 'convinced' me to film while you two fight with your bows," Shadmé explained. "Why me?" muttered Pit as he took his bow and gave the camera to Shadmé. The crowd gasped as Dark Pit and Pit faced off.

"Uhh...ready set go!" Shadmé randomly shouted, and Dark Pit leapt at his lighter twin, separating the blades to make it easier for melee combat. Pit dashed backward and fired a few shots, but Dark Pit dodged them.

"In the white corner we have Pit, angelic savior of Skyworld! In the black corner we have Dark Pit or Pitto, a darker and very much different character!" Shadmé rambled, trying to make it sound interesting. "With Pitto on the offense and Pit on the defense, Pit will have to-" Dark Pit suddenly whipped around and dashed at Shadmé. "Don't call me that name!"

"Oh my Lady Palutena!" Shadmé yelped as she dropped the camera and ran across the stage. It was quite a comical sight as the dark angel chased after her, Shadmé's cape flapping as she ran. "Good thing I always keep this with me!" Shadmé turned around and in the blink of an eye, pulled out a gold and silver bow, separating it.

Dark Pit and Shadmé's bows clashed, but the people watching on TV could barely tell what was going on since the camera was on the floor. Pit, who was still on the other side of the stage, picked up the camera so the viewers could see the fight. "I dunno who I want to win so I'll root for both of you!" Pit called. "Go Shadmé! Go Pitto!"

The dark angel bounced away from Shadmé and shot an arrow at Pit. It just barely scorched his tunic. "Hey!" he protested, firing back at Dark Pit and dropping the camera again. Seizing the opportunity, the audience watched Shadmé gracefully leap behind Dark Pit and attack him with the blades. He retaliated, but being assaulted with melee from Shadmé and range from Pit was wearing him down. Shadmé noticed this and immediately flew back, clicking her blades back into a bow.

Aiming carefully as Dark Pit tried to defend himself against Pit, she shot him in a spot by his leg. "You used to be a show host, but then you took an arrow to the knee!" Pit crowed as the dark angel kneeled over. "Too bad the people on TV didn't see my awesome shot because SOMEONE dropped the camera," Shadmé sneered. "Whoops," Pit mumbled. He picked up the camera and dusted it off. "Hey look. The camera has its first war wound!" Pit said, showing a long scratch on the camera.

"Uh, okay. Great," Shadmé replied sarcastically. "Anyway, tune in next time- hopefully Pitto here doesn't decide to go insane again!" She nudged the angel and he glared at her, one last act of defiance. "The name's Dark Pit, get it right!"


	7. Episode 5- A Headache-Inducing Interview

**I'm back, sorry for the delay! The truth is, I came up with another story and have been busy writing it.**

**Dark Pit: Really? Are we not cool enough?**

**Well...**

**Dark Pit: Whatever.**

The dark show host walked out onto the stage. "Welcome back to the show! Today we have a very special guest to interview."

"Ooh! Is it the ice cream man?" Pit asked excitedly.

Dark Pit sighed. "No, idiot. Be patient. He'll be here any second."

"I'm sure you mean..." a voice hissed. Dark Pit looked up.

"THEY'LL be here!" growled another.

"What, I don't get a part in this?" a third voice asked. At that moment, the ceiling caved in and a three-headed dragon tumbled through.

"OW!"

"YOWCH!"

"That hurt!"

"Whoa!" Pit exclaimed, leaping backward. "You didn't tell me the Hewdraw would be getting in this!"

"Pardon me, but when you said THE Hewdraw, you meant my head, right?" asked the middle head.

"No! I'm the main head!" exclaimed the left one.

"Why do you guys always forget about me!" sobbed the right head.

"You're right about that!" snarled the left head.

"You're darn right I'm right!" it cried in response.

"No, I'm left!" the other head shot back.

"So if you're left and he's right, then I'm important!" the middle head announced triumphantly.

Dark Pit rolled his eyes. "Come on! You're all important to the show. More specifically, my paycheck! Now shut it already!"

All the Hewdraw heads shut their mouths and turned to the dark angel. He cleared his throat. "That's better. As I was saying, this is a dignified interview."

"And if you don't do what he says then we'll call in Shadmé. The three of us will then pretend you're horses and ride your backs. I have my lasso and cowboy boots!" Pit added cheerfully.

"NOOOOO!" The heads yelled. Dark Pit tapped his sandal against the floor and they all stopped speaking again. "Okay. First question. Which of you is the original?"

Pit winced. "Bad question."

"I AM!" All Hewdraw heads called at once. They then started to bicker again.

"Personally," Pit whispered, "I think the middle's the original. "He's the one with the 'look how far you've come' speech, so he knew me from the beginning."

"Fine," Dark Pit sighed. "Attention, Hewdraws! Next question. Why exactly did you think it was a good idea to grow more heads?"

"Hewdraw heads are extremely adaptable, so it wasn't exactly a matter of forcing it to happen," chimed in the middle head. "And plus, I thought extra heads would make it easy to destroy that little squirt." It gestured to Pit, who shifted his feet uncomfortably.

"Medusa never told us that the others would be so annoying," groaned the left head.

"Seriously!" exclaimed the last head. "It's just like, I want Chinese food, lefty wants fast food and middle wants to go to a restaurant! We all try to go different directions and somehow end up at the fast food place. Then, we can never decide what to get as we go through the drive thru and by that time, everyone's running away." He sighed.

"Whadda ya mean, 'Lefty wants fast food'? You're making me look like a slob or something!" The left head protested.

"You ARE a slob!" The other two heads yelled back.

The two angels glanced at each other and sighed. "And I thought we never agreed on anything..." Pit mumbled. The doppelgänger nodded before turning back to the guest.

"C'mon, heads, focus!" Dark Pit snapped. "Is it true that you actually have water powers? After all, you can regenerate in the lake."

At that, all the Hewdraws clammed up. They shot nervous glances at each other and this time, nobody answered.

"Uhh...what's this supposed to mean?" Pit wondered. "The Hewdraws are never silent! This must mean...the apocalypse is upon us!"

More silence was met with his claim. He grinned sheepishly. "Or the Hewdraws have something they're not telling us. That's possible too."

"...Next question," Dark Pit grumbled. "Taco Bell is amazing. Wait, WHAT?"

"Taco Bell is groovy!" cried the left head.

"It's gross!" The middle head replied.

"You're gross!" It shot back.

"No, but the food's always covered in grease..."

"I knew you guys like fast food!" The right head howled. "Fatties!"

"You just called yourself fat!" The other two heads yelled at it.

Meanwhile, Dark Pit was trying to figure out why that statement was on his script.

"It doesn't make any sense!" he growled. "I hate Taco Bell!"

"So much for being as unbiased as possible..." Pit groaned.

"But look, Pit! This isn't even my writing!" The dark angel shoved the script in Pit's face.

"Mmfflsgshhmr!" Pit said, his voice muffled by the paper.

"What?" Dark Pit stopped shoving the script in his face. Pit took a couple deep breaths, and turned to Dark Pit.

"I said, it's obviously Shadmé!" Pit told him.

"Holy Hades..." the two angels turned to the curtain. Shadmé poked her head out and waved.

"Well I hope you had a good show! I've gotta skedaddle!" She whipped around and fled, the other angels in pursuit, as the Hewdraw heads continued to bicker about Taco Bell.

***continues to flee* See you guys next episode! Don't forget to review!**


End file.
